The Thing All Women Do That You Don’t Know About

Drifting Through

image: Shutterstock image: Shutterstock

There’s this thing that happens whenever I speak about or write about women’s issues. Things like dress codes, rape culture and sexism. I get the comments: Aren’t there more important things to worry about? Is this really that big of a deal? Aren’t you being overly sensitive? Are you sure you’re being rational about this?

Every. Single. Time.

And every single time I get frustrated. Why don’t they get it?

I think I’ve figured out why.

They don’t know.

They don’t know about de-escalation. Minimizing. Quietly acquiescing.

Hell, even though women live it, we are not always aware of it. But we have all done it.

We have all learned, either by instinct or by trial and error, how to minimize a situation that makes us uncomfortable. How to avoid angering a man or endangering ourselves. We have all, on many occasions, ignored an offensive comment. We’ve all…

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4 thoughts on “The Thing All Women Do That You Don’t Know About

    • OMG – yes!!!!

      I can’t stand that nonsense. I find that I have to qualify every statement about feminist issues on Facebook (I haven’t had to do it here…yet). I’ve taken to putting #notallmen, sarcastically, in parentheses. It’s infuriating.

      No, not all men, but enough men. No, not all men, but how can we tell the difference between so-called “bad men” & so-called “good men?” You telling us you’re not like that doesn’t mean anything! Do you think a rapist/harasser/abuser is going to admit it? Heck no!!

      Great comment!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Your post just stuck a chord as I’d had an argument on twitter from a guy basically denying the existence of patriarchy. The “not all men” thing is an excuse. It’s passive-aggressive and it does not address the issue at hand. And clearly a lot of men do think this way. Turning a blind eye to sexism, harassment of women and even sexual assault and rape. Too much victim blaming too.

        Anyway great post.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Exactly!! Maybe “not all men,” but enough men. Men who have the chance to do something brave & selfless, or they have the chance to do something awful. & too often, they choose the latter.

        I’m sorry you had to deal with that idiot. The post makes a great point of saying that men don’t live our lives. They don’t see our reality. So, we have to tell our loved ones our truth. We have to show them our existence in female skin.

        Thank you for the compliment on the post, but I didn’t write it. I merely shared it. Regardless, I’m glad it touched you & I’m glad that sharing it reached you. For having it reach you, I’ll take that credit. That’s the most I can do. 🙂


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