I’m a fan of Samantha Bee’s show, Full Frontal. While I’d prefer more representation than poor Ashley, I think the show did a good take on some Black History subjects. Their “Racist Roadshow,” in the second link below, was more enlightening & disheartening than funny, but it told me some stuff I really should have learned before now!
Enjoy! I promise I’ll have another mile-long novel of a post for you all soon(ish).
Writing Radiation 
I love Full Frontal – It’s hilarious!
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Me too! It’s so good to see a female late-night show host finally. Now, if we could just get some people of color in late night….
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I freaking love Full Frontal. Also holy bleep…the first video was awe inspiring if maddeningly disappointing in the UN (though unsurprising); the second, just wow. I knew about the gloves and faces for cartoon characters, but I had no idea the entire concept behind them was based on minstrel shows. That’s just…I don’t have any words. And the ice cream truck?? I really shouldn’t be surprised at old songs being racist anymore, but it’s just so appalling D:
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I love Full Frontal too! It only took us around 70 years to get a female late night talk show host, 3 years after we got an African-American host (I really want to read Trevor Noah’s autobiography, which I just found out is going to be made into a movie with Lupita Nyong’o as Noah’s mother!!). How long do you think it’ll be until we get an African-American woman for a host?
I’m thinking Wanda Sykes or Niecy Nash. Who do you think would be the best?
I had no idea about John Robinson, the ice cream truck song, nor that cartoonists based their animations on minstrel shows. I’m sure I missed a few other aspects of Full Frontal’s Black History Month about which I had no idea.
I know we probably weren’t capable of understanding most of them, but I think our schools should have taught us about John Robinson! So many great figures were left out of our education. 😦
It’s the fact that someone took an existing song, made it racist, & chose to use it for calling kids to chase a truck down the street that makes me go, “HUH?!!?” I always hated that song before I knew its origin, but now I really can’t stand it.
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I remember my dad insisting that we’d never have a black president, and my response was always we’d have a black man before we ever had a woman. I was hoping in 2016 we’d remedy my pessimism, but no. My brother made this really insightful statement about how while it isn’t oppression Olympics with racism and sexism, the latter is almost guaranteed taught in the home. It’s something you experience from the moment you’re born whereas you could be utterly oblivious to racism until you experience it in the world. I’m not sure which one is more nefarious.
I’m blanking on who’d I’d like to see, though I’m surprised Oprah hasn’t broken into that market yet.
The more I find out the more I realize that pretty much everything is racist, and it’s funny, because you’ll get conservatives an/or dudebros sneering, “I guess everything is racist now!” and you’re like, “Yeah…it always was,” but of course because they cant see it, and you’re experiences about it aren’t good enough examples, it’s not really there *eye roll*
I think there’s a way it could be taught where children understand it. Like the real story of Thanksgiving or Columbus Day. While I don’t think children should be told the horrible details, you can at least tell them, “There were already people living in what was to become the United States and the people who came here weren’t all that nice to them.” At the very least stop the lie about how they all sat down to a feast when in reality it was a feast of the celebration by the pilgrims in celebration of a massacre 😡
And you hear that song EVERYWHERE. Now that you know, you’ll never be able to listen to it without disgust ever again.
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I had a sinking feeling that we wouldn’t get a female president, even when it proved her opponent was a sexist, racist, idiot, repeatedly. I guess I’m a cynic, but, at the same time, I know I’m also a realist. Idiots still think that women can’t be leaders because of genetics versus societal conditioning, & they’ll bomb everyone once every 28 days (even though most leaders are past the point of menopause & some scientific proof shows women’s’ menstrual cycle causes their hormones to be more “male” during that time of the month).
Your brother, at least with that comment, sounds really smart. I never thought much about it (especially since my Mom was a tiny little woman who ruled the house with a velvet-gloved iron fist, who took karate with my Dad, & taught science), but it’s still true. Ideas of traditional “male & female roles” still permeate the most forward-thinking house.
You know, I started pondering which was more nefarious in my reply. But, then I realized that it was a pretty even split, & I didn’t know about racism – being Caucasian – the way other people do. I can’t imagine the shock of experiencing it for the first time. I learned about it (much later than I should have) in a far from personal experience. So, I really shouldn’t talk.
Hmm. While I think Oprah is funny as all get out, I don’t think I could see her doing late night comedy. Mostly because I’ve seen her on as a late night guest & she’s so political when she speaks, trying to state her truth without ruffling too many feathers. #Oprah2020 though! 😀
I’m going to apologize ahead of this next statement, but I gotta do it: Every time I, or anyone else, says “Everything is racist,” the song “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist” from Avenue Q pops into my head. Then I start laughing, or singing, or both. LOL
The problem these idiots (erm, I mean, DudeBro Conservatives 😉 ) have is, they like to pretend that the first 150+ years of this country’s history, where racism was expected & encouraged, didn’t happen. “That was so long ago, & it didn’t have any impact on life today,” is incredibly ignorant. But, since they usually don’t see it in their every day experience (being mostly white), or, if they do see it, they ignore it because it doesn’t affect them (or positively affects them), they can claim it doesn’t exist.
The only reason “everything is racist nowadays” to them is because people are finding the words & strength to speak up about it! They’re not listening to people saying, “you’re misinterpreting what happens in your every day life, or lying about the events you experience (even though I wasn’t around to see them).” People are calling attention to the underlying current leftover from years past. That makes DudeBros uncomfortable & they want to go back to ignoring it, pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s easier for them, clearly.
Hmm. I agree with the fact that I think kids need to learn the truth about our history. But, as the child of teachers, who has seen the inner workings of school administration & the ridiculousness that parents pull, I think it’s a bit of a Catch-22. If they teach the kids the truth, they’ll argue with other teachers & their parents like good little critical thinkers, with which few – if any – of the aforementioned people want to deal. If they don’t teach them the truth, they grow up ignorant of our country’s sordid past & how it impacts current events.
I’m pretty sure the lies started to keep kids from asking, “Why do we celebrate Columbus day,” & to give them busy work to take home to their parents for Thanksgiving. But it’s the parents complaining that keep the teachers from changing it now. Could you imagine the parents’ righteous indignation if teachers told kids the first long-term settlers, who didn’t really discover America, nor were they led by Christopher Columbus, who never set foot in the United States, weren’t nice to the Native Americans? Or that our Presidents horribly mistreated the Native Americans, broke treaty after treaty with them, & still do messed up stuff to them today (#StandingRock #NODAPL)?
I imagine it would be something like the DudeBros: “OMG, my kid is asking me questions that make me uncomfortable. I have to yell at the school’s administrators about infringing on my rights as a parent!” Then the teacher gets canned. 😦
Well, to be fair, I couldn’t stand that song before I heard it was a racist jingle. Now I may go yell at a poor ice cream seller who has no control over the song & probably can stand it even less than I. LOL
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Gah, there’s so much I want to say in response to this (nothing bad, don’t worry, just conversation lol), but I’m so sleepy and there’s a LOT to respond to. I wanted to at least comment, so I can keep the thread going for when I do have the wherewithal to comment. I will say my brother is much smarter than he gives himself credit for, and he has some amazing insights. Also noooo, don’t yell at the poor ice cream man D: Anyone who brings me ice cream can’t be all bad lol.
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Aww! It means so much that you decided to comment, despite being exhausted, to continue the conversation & to use as a “place marker” to remind us where you were for when you’re not too tired to respond. That tells me that you’re really interested in the conversation, but “Gosh darn it, LIFE!” LOL
I wouldn’t actually yell at the poor ice cream person. I know it’s not his/her choice, & I know that he/she is much more annoyed by the song than I am.
Also… ice cream. That & other desserts will keep me from yelling at almost anyone providing them. Sweets are my weeeeakness. That, &, of course, kitties. LOL
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I was so hopeful we’d have our first woman president, and I just got so sick of the “Hillary is problematic” talk. Yes, she’s problematic. She’s a 70 year old, rich, white woman who enjoys remarkable privilege. It’s hard NOT to be problematic with that, but she’s also a dedicated public servant who would be a typical politician. While I understand not wanting the same old same old, pick someone who actually has some kind of experience! It’s infuriating that we’re saddled with someone who’s not only incompetent, but who also thinks he doesn’t have a damn thing to learn. Ignorance is not something to be ashamed of so long as you’re willing to own it and remedy it. The menstrual cycle thing is so tired, too, especially considering the so-called president of the United States and the former VP were having a Twitter battle about who could beat up whom. Are you kidding me? And women are supposed to be the overly emotional ones *rolls eyes*
Nah, your reply wasn’t that nefarious, at least I don’t recall anything too bad lol. But then again I have a terrible memory, but either way no harm no foul 🙂
While I think Oprah would be MUCH better than what we have insofar as being willing to learn, listen, and make decisions based on, well, reason and compassion, I don’t think I want a celebrity president. Having a politician isn’t that terrible; you just have to have the right kind of person. I really like Elizabeth Warren and Joe Kennedy III is pretty freaking amazing. This is going to sound terrible, but I’m honestly afraid of seeing another woman run for the democratic ticket only because I don’t sexism to again be a factor in her not being elected. It really burns me up, because there’s no reason a woman shouldn’t be president, but I’d rather see a qualified man win the nomination and presidency than take that chance 😦
Bahahah, me too! I still love that musical even if it is a bit dated :p
They don’t see it or experience it. To them it was ancient history, and they don’t have to think about how it still affects many peoples’ lives. They’d rather say, “Everything is racist blah” in a derisive way than consider that so much in our society is based around racist ideals. It’s just woven in. There’s also the “I hate labels!” crowd when really they don’t like the fact that they’re now being defined. Labels aren’t inherently bad, but for too long being white, straight, male, cis, etc. has been considered the default, so when they see stuff like “cis,” they get pissy even though it’s always existed…we just didn’t have a name for it.
Sigh, you’re right; it’s a tough path to walk. On one hand you don’t want to teach children lies like we were or at least I was in terms of Thanksgiving and Columbus, but you also want to keep it to their level. While I might regret this as a parent, we owe it to our kids to teach them critical thinking skills. They’re going to be the future problem solvers, and we have a LOT of problems to solve.
I mean, I think it kind of has to be done, and if they’re asked, “Why did you tell my child this?!” The answer is, “Because it’s what happened.” I just watched a video today of Adam Ruins Everything about the Pocahontas falsehood. The story we know is pretty much a fanfiction written by John Smith himself! Pocahontas was ten years old when he came to these shores, and he blew himself up with gunpowder and had to go back to England for medical treatment. It was quite eye opening. I knew the story wasn’t accurate, but I did not know that it was deliberately made up by old Johnny boy.
See that irks me because they’re teaching their child. It’s not the teacher’s fault that this is what history was, but people would rather have the “literally” whitewashed version of history where either there are no bad guys or the people who colonized don’t look so bad. They hate it because their kids are being taught something that disrupts their own worldview, and that’s intolerable.
It always meant ice cream to me D:
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I’m right there with you. If I hear/read “but her emails” one more time, I’ll scream (which is a pretty sure bet, since those idiots still can’t come up with another issue).
If you want to stay away from the “same old,” I’d say pick someone who understands how the government works at least! A person doesn’t need to be a career politician, but they have to know that they can’t just sign a piece of paper (or, in this case, Tweet) & it becomes the law of the land!
I think that a real issue with this so-called President is, in addition to his ignorance, his annoying tendency to agree with whomever spoke last or complimented him the most, racism, misogyny, & near worship of dictators, is how thin-skinned he is & how he takes on almost any perceived insult with extreme overkill.
To me, that’s a terrifying personality trait. If a hostile country were to make a military advance on us, or on some country Trump is worshiping that week, I’m worried he’d nuke them. 😦
Oh, I wasn’t worried about my reply being nefarious. In fact, reading your response that it wasn’t confused me. I was referring to considering arguing, or at least pondering in type, which was more nefarious – racism or sexism. Then I realized I couldn’t, considering I have no personal experience & it would be incredibly sensitive of me to try. Unfortunately, I like to debate – even if it’s with myself.
Honestly, I’m still contemplating whether or not Pence is a better option than what we have now. He’s not, according to my internal debate. I don’t know much about Joe Kennedy III, but, as much as I wish Elizabeth Warren would run, I’m pretty sure she sees the writing on the wall from this past election. She could have a spotless past & never have done anything wrong, but these people would latch onto any so-called reason to dislike her without coming out & directly saying it’s because she’s a woman.
Oh thank goodness you get the reference! So few people know the musical (well, outside my small circle of besties, many of who are total theater dorks like me), they give me the weirdest looks when I start singing, “Everyone’s a little bit racist, today. So everyone’s a little bit racist, okkkaaaaaaaaay.” 😀
OMG – calling it dated makes me feel SO OLD. I was so excited & I thought it was so subversive when it first came out. I was already in college at that point too. LOL
Those people are such jerks. They have these blinders on & they refuse to accept any truth that contradicts their viewpoints. They use the violence in “inner cities” as proof that people of color are “lower class” than Caucasians, but refuse to listen when you bring up the extreme poverty, drugs, & gang violence to which people are exposed in those environments – not to mention the fact that they’re already behind the 8-ball with not-so-distant times when banks would refuse to loan them money, people would refuse to rent to them (like Trump & his father in the early 1970’s), & other problems based on racism.
Then again, these are the same idiots arguing than people of color are more violent & claiming there’s no racism anymore. Kinda foolish to try & educate them at all, I guess. 😦
OMG, I loved that episode too! I’m really liking the “Reanimated History” series, especially the “Same Time, Different Place” segment at the end. Did you see the one this past week? I usually wait until the weekend & catch up on all the shows I like that DVR’d during the week. 🙂
Finding out that John Smith blew himself up was hilarious. Him telling everyone that all the women wanted him was pretty creepy, since he’s the one who started the rumor that Pocahontas was older than she really was when they met. I knew that was the case by the time the Disney movie came out, which was really skeevy, but I enjoyed the music because I’m a sucker & Disney is good at pulling that stuff.
Yeah, unfortunately, no matter what they do, the teachers are going to hear about it from someone. Also unfortunately, fewer people are likely to complain about teaching kids “little white lies.” I think it’s best for parents to decide what they want their kids to know & when. Maybe show them copies of “Reanimated History?” LOL
Or, when they get old enough, give them “Lies My Teacher Told Me.” Have you read it? It’s a bit dense, but a great book!
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I DO enjoy seeing it said ironically even thought it’s definitely a lolsob moment, but I’m still arguing with people who think either staying home or voting third party was okay, and far be it from me to tell people whom they should vote for, but we wouldn’t be in this situation right now if HRC were ini the White House.
I think you should have to have some experience in a political office before you can run for president. Mid and high level jobs require you to have experience. How the hell can you just be president with none? It’s asinine.
Pence terrifies me because he’s cold and calculating. His anti-gay agenda and support of “conversion therapy” is troubling. I’m hoping the entire house is cleared, but I don’t think there’s any way he’s not also involved or knows about it.
One of my friends introduced me to Avenue Q years ago lol. I’ve always been a choir chick and I love musicals! My favorite is Phantom of the Opera with Les Miserable as a close second 🙂
And every day it’s a new story. Like what happened at the Starbucks in Philly, which is pretty much my home town 😡
I should start following the page or something, but I only catch it when it pops up on my newsfeed lol. I’m sure I could find a playlist with all of them though.
I haven’t heard of this book! It’s something I’ll have to check out. I’m sure Columbus is in there along with Thanksgiving and other things that will shock me.
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I guess seeing it used mockingly is humorous. Only a little bit, though. It’s so frustrating at the same time!
I couldn’t stand people who were voting third-party or staying home because they weren’t “in love” with either candidate. They were saying – either out-right or implying the heck out of it – that Trump & Clinton were both bad; that they were equal in their negative qualities.
I stopped speaking to a person I thought was funny, attractive, & very smart, because he was a “Bernie bro.” It was Bernie or nobody for him. He thought, if America didn’t elect Bernie Sanders, we deserved Trump. Like it was a punishment for not picking the most liberal candidate to get the most ignorant & hateful.
I saw a great tee-shirt that said something to that effect. I would buy it, but I’m pretty sure it would start too many frustrating conversations. It said, “I think it’s time to stop this whole ‘anyone can be President’ thing.” 🙂
Ever since Trump picked Pence as his vice-presidential candidate, I’ve said this: Pence is scarier than Trump. While Trump talks about doing bad things, Pence was in the government getting bad things done. He’s far too much of a milquetoast to have actually involved himself in the collusion.
Sorry, sorry. Alleged collusion.
OMG! Me too! I even have the Greek muses, Melpomene & Thalia (AKA, theater masks, but I’m a dork LOL) tattooed on my upper arm. I did stage crew during high school, because I wasn’t good enough for the musicals, but I was in choir all the time. I even thought about doing a vocal minor in college. I’m also a huge musical theater chick.
Phantom of the Opera & Les Miserables are always going to be on my “all-time favorites” list. When I finally got to see PotO on Broadway, I was so happy! (That guy I was saying in our other conversation, the one who didn’t listen to me about introducing his cats? He took me. We got all dressed up & went out to a fancy French place first. It was so over-the-top for a matinee, but perfect nonetheless!)
Still, right now my favorite is Hamilton. I listen to it when I work out (1-3x a week) & I still don’t know half the words. It’s kinda ridiculous how much I love it. LOL
Ugh. I’m sorry that story hit so close to home, in more than one way. I want, with all my heart, to be able to think it’s a rare occasion, but I know it’s not true. It’s just another one of the millions of small & not-so-small racist experiences people of color go through on a daily basis.
If anything, I guess I’m sorta pleased that camera phones are everywhere now? At least people have proof of these situations (ranging from uncomfortable to horrific)? Yeah, I’m trying to find silver linings, but I know I’m really stretching for that one. 😦
I’m guessing you’re talking about Adam Ruins everything or Reanimated History when you say you only catch it when it pops up & you’re sure you could find a playlist. Sometimes it’s hard to tell – our conversations run the gamut! But, ask & you shall receive – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzJ_LBHlpVY&list=PLZxWJ6CTr63Z4OYR3gdMEEog5Zju5ihyu
I read it in college, so I don’t remember everything it covered. Recently, it was a resource on Adam Ruins Everything, though! 😀
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Unfortunately, I have friends like that, too who even NOW cling to how much they hate Hillary. It’s enraging because they can’t recognize their own sexism and they insist that’s not a factor why they dislike her, but the thing is you can be bigoted and not even realize it. I actually voted for Bernie in the primaries, but I voted for Hillary in the general election, because I wanted our country to be run by an adult. I can’t stand the Bernie or Bust crowd, and yeah…that whole “we deserve Trump” is nonsense. They’re speaking from the privilege of not having to deal with the worst of it. They won’t be in the most vulnerable positions, and that’s the very point I tried to argue. It grew frustrating though.
I still need to listen to Hamilton. My friends can’t stop gushing about it lol. I know I’d love it, because I love musicals as fore mentioned.
I added the playlist to my library! It’ll give me something to listen to at work 😀
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That’s exactly what I say & feel! That’s so crazy!
Actually, scratch that – it’s not crazy. We have the same thoughts because we’re sane. Also, because we’re women, racial/religious minorities, who bear the brunt of the idiocy in this country now that our new normal is complete lunacy. 😦
Hmm. Since you took my last suggestion when I posted a playlist, maybe I’ll just leave this here & see if it works again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhinPd5RRJw&list=PLjQpKlmn_hsUCFFvkYW2uQDj_cRmS0Tlo
You really must listen to this soundtrack. It’s my power playlist. I listen to it every time I lift weights & I sing (silently) along.
Yeah, I might look like a nutjob, but I feel like Wonder Woman! 😀
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Well now THAT’S saved lol.
Rationality is in VERY short supply nowadays, but I was talking about how our society is built in such a way that people don’t have to be rational in order to survive. This has both advantages and disadvantages. It means that more people will survive to reproduce, which is great for the species, but it’s disadvantages is that people don’t have to know how most things work in order to use them, which means if they start questioning the validity of things like vaccines and “doing their own research,” they’re not going to have the wherewithal to realize they’re reading bunk. It’s an educational issue, but it’s also a critical thinking issue, too
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YES! Come over to the musical “dark side!!” Do let me know when you’ve had a chance to listen to it, OK? 🙂
Well, yeah, it’s a critical thinking issue, but I think I’ve said why people don’t want to teach children critical thinking. It causes them to question so-called authorities, which many soon realize includes parents & teachers. It’s easier for them to have kids be compliant & follow orders. It also works out for the higher-ups in society too – fewer people ask questions, more politicians can get away with stuff, police can abuse their authority more, &, in general, there’s less work for those involved.
I think what struck me when I got to college was how little exposure I had to even the idea of “critical thinking.” In our social studies/history textbooks, the end of the chapter had a section with the header, “critical thinking.” Only it asked for the exact opposite! It would rephrase a section of the previous chapter into a question & we’d have to dutifully pick through, find it, & regurgitate it in our own words.
It was a real shock when I got to college & learned about different perspectives, let me tell you! It almost seemed like, whether intentionally or not, people were trying to keep us high school kids quiet & compliant. Now that I know better, I know, whole-heartedly & for myself (even though Dad has been saying it for years), that standardized tests are horrible & waste of everyone’s time & resources.
It’s daunting when the whole system is broken, though.
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I will! Yeah people have been trying to get me to listen to it for a while now lol. I’m weird with things sometimes though. If something is ultra-hyped, I’ll be less interested in it maybe because I’m afraid it will let me down and then I’ll sound like those people who don’t like popular things to be cool ughhhh. I’m sure I’ll love it. I love musicals and I’ve heard so many great things.
Yup…that’s what it is. It’s easier to teach kids to be compliant and try to stamp out what would be considered rebellion. It’s one of the reasons the Milgram Experiments were so successful. People are just used to listening to instead of questioning authority. It’s really hard to break out of that mold, too, once you’ve been forced into it. And because it’s generational where parents today were raised by authoritarians, they think “Well now it’s MY turn,” and they don’t even consider how messed up that is. The problem is teaching your kids critical thinking means they are going to question and challenge you, but that’s not a bad thing, and it’s not a disobedient thing, though other parents will certainly judge you for it. My fried is constantly defending herself from people who say she “coddles” her son. She respects his freaking emotions! He has night terrors, anxiety, and some other things going on. Instead of dismissing his concerns, she listens to him and tries to get him help. She also does discipline him when necessary. Like she took away his Nintendo Switch privileges. But people equate discipline with hitting, and it’s just so sad.
Oh I completely believe that. Teenagers are known for ‘rebelling,” and no one wants to deal with that so they do things to keep them in line. While of course you need to be able to run a classroom, a kid that’s acting out is usually doing so for a reason. Nothing comes out of a vacuum. Of course this is also why conservatives complain that college makes kids liberal lol. Yeah, because being exposed to different people and points of view tends to open your mind.
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I completely understand not wanting to “jump on the bandwagon.” I’m the same way, & I put off listening to Hamilton for the longest time. I think I only listened to it when my Dad bought it. It turned out that the lyrics were too fast-paced for him to understand them, but I fell in love so deep I can’t even express it! It’s so deep, meaningful, beautiful, witty, & it has a couple of throw backs to other musicals. I can think of two off the top of my head – Pirates of Penzance, & 1776. 🙂
It sounds like your friend is a good parent. But, I’m pretty sure all people get flack for their parenting at some point or another. Then again, those people giving her grief are probably the same sort of people who don’t believe anxiety is real & people can just overcome it by “trying harder.” 😦
The issue, in part, I think, is that teachers don’t have time to investigate all the reasons a kid might be acting out. With 40+ kids in a classroom to 1 teacher, it’s impossible to dig into everything that might bother a kid – especially a kid who might not know exactly what’s bothering him/her, only knowing he/she wants to lash out. 😦
Oh please – conservatives don’t want people going to college because stupid/ignorant people are easier to control in general! They’re swayed by opinions over facts & buy into propaganda & lies like that B.S. about Hillary Clinton being involved with an underaged sex-ring in a pizzeria basement (in a building, which, in fact, has no basement in reality; didn’t stop idiots from storming the place).
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It’s like that fable of the man, his son, and the donkey. No matter how they tried to transport the beast, people criticized them. That’s pretty much what’s going to happen. We have a LOT of “well it was always done this way…” where people don’t stop to consider that just because something is traditional doesn’t mean it’s not harmful, and that’s what irks me. Or they’ll think, “Well I survived this so they can” without stopping to think how messed up that is. Surviving trauma means that you built up some kind of defense to it, which is fine and great if you’re someone who can do that. Like me and my brothers were raised in the same household,but things affected us differently. I was expected to not be so sensitive and get over things, and that never worked for me. My older brother isn’t bothered by things for the most part (and it’s funny because his wife is super sensitive, too), and I can sometimes play off that I’m okay (because I’ve learned out), but yeah that kind of thinking can really hurt people, and I’ll constantly quote Fredrick Douglas’ “It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men” all the time.
I couldn’t agree more about the teachers. They aren’t even given the bare minimum of what they need to run a classroom and have to dip into their own resources to do so. There are loads of factors with that and there should be more resources to deal with that, but there aren’t. And yeah…a lot of times you have no idea why you’re angry; you just know you’re angry. I’m an adult and I’m pretty decent at regulating my emotions, but a kid especially a teenager isn’t going to be as capable. Even as an adult sometimes I have NO CLUE why I’m pissed off about something, so I have to sit there and think about it. I also have a psych degree so I’m slightly better able to do that self-reflection. It would be foolish to think everyone can do that or even know how. I also usually have the ability and agency to remove myself from that situation. If you’re a kid/teenager in an abusive environment with no out, it’s just going to build and build.
Yuuuup. They just want people who are smart enough to run the machines and do the labor to make them money. Look at Jeff Bezos, Amazon CEO, for proof of this. People working in the warehouses are peeing in bottles because they’re terrified of not making their quotas. It’s sickening.
Are…you…kidding me? They actually stormed the pizzeria where she was supposedly running an underaged sex ring. I..have no words. Like for the love of god please follow up on any legitimate evidence that child trafficking is occurring, but that kind of thing is ridiculous.
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Gosh darn it. I restarted my computer because updates were slowing it down & forgot to save my darned half-written comment. Darn, darn, darn!!
OK, moving on.
I don’t 100% remember that particular fable. I remember a bit of it though. Regardless, it’s easy to criticize other people. Especially if those people are doing stuff, because criticizing is easier than actually doing something. It’s also easier to follow tradition & be resistant to change, especially where their children are concerned. I mean, you should see how my Dad gets when my sister or I does something – as small as driving somewhere a different route than he prefers, even when he’s not going with us – that doesn’t follow the way he deems “correct.”
Then again, I doubt most older people are as big of an uptight butt-wad as he. 😉
UGH. If anyone were to say to me, “well, I survived this, so everyone can,” I’d rip them a brand new a**hole – probably right in the middle of their forehead to match the one centered underneath their nose. Before age 18, I survived plenty. That said, I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to go through a fraction of it.
I think your example of your parents trying to “toughen you up” is a really good one. Yeah, it might not be awful, terrible, no-good, very bad, but you would prefer future parents weren’t that stifling, emotionally. (I’m not trying to belittle that experience; you described it as them telling you to stop feeling your genuine feelings, which is some straight-up B.S., yet it doesn’t sound like “trauma.” If I’m misunderstanding that, please let me know!) It’s my understanding that we want every generation to learn from the mistakes of the previous one, & raise the future generations with this improved knowledge along the way. If that’s the case, we need to improve the way we teach our kids & what we teach them.
Unfortunately, something tells me that your upbringing “not to be so sensitive” might also have a part to play in why you’re so skilled at handling your emotions. Your years of experience & a very impressive degree (I’m not being sarcastic – I’m very impressed!) allow you to understand how your unique past & current situation affect you as an individual. You can reflect on the possible reasons other people might choose to make statements or take actions that make you angry. A kid can’t look at an emotion from all those angles; they’re stuck on “I’m pissed!”
Then, of course, you get into those awful situations where someone is abusing a kid, or they’re witnessing abuse in the household, & there’s no way for a kid to deal.
Hmm. I never thought of standardized testing being a sort of direct line into the automated market system off of which mega-billionaires make their money & how that would explain the country’s sudden love of them. That’s a really good point! Also, too many wealthy people are such jerks. 😦
Except Warren Buffett. He’s pretty cool. LOL
Oh yeah. I had to do the unthinkable (well, unthinkable to a willfully ignorant person) after I saw your response to my saying some idiot stormed the pizza place – I checked my FACTS!!! LMAO (I honestly got the incident confused with an episode of Law & Order that was based, loosely, on it, so I wanted to be sure it happened as I thought.) Some jerk went into the restaurant & fired at least one shot. No one was hurt, thank goodness, but, seriously, it happened. The Internet remembers. 😦
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It is so much easier to criticize. It’s why you constantly see people going after parents who’ve experienced some tragedy. Like there was a story of a baby who was hit with a baseball at a game. People in the comments were lambasting them for taking a baby to one. It’s like can you have some f**king compassion?? People with babies are allowed to go out; they’re allowed to have lives. I was out with the mother of a less than one year old today at a restaurant. If something happened to him there, it would be her fault? That’s utter bollocks, but everyone has an opinion as if they’re parent of the ever.
I don’t know if I’d call it trauma, but it did mess me up pretty badly in terms of how I deal with emotion aka I feel guilty if I have a negative one ugh. They were doing what they thought was best to a point. When I look back I tell myself that, but in some instances it definitely rose to the level of bullying in some cases. It’s one of those situations where if I said something, it would’ve just made it worse. I’m seeing it as a way to know what not to
Bill Gates isn’t bad either :p
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OMG. That’s ridiculous! Was the baby OK?
I think, in situations like that, where it’s an awful accident, people need someone to blame. It’s misguided & horrible, but I think that’s what happening. It’s like we can’t just accept that, sometimes, stuff sucks for no good reason & because of no one’s stupid or evil intentions.
I’m sorry if I misunderstood the situation & it sounded like I was trivializing your experience. I totally understand that sort of environment. To a point, I still live in one sorta similar to it. I think that’s why I just go with an attitude of, “Oh, well, it’s not so bad.” I get the negative emotions that you were told to supress about pretty much everything. 😦
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I don’t know ;_; Last I heard she was in critical condition and I haven’t heard much else, but it’s just tragic, and to add shaming to it is absolutely awful. Do people think the parents aren’t already second guessing themselves?!
There’s a concept called “Just World” and that’s the reason for it. Humans have this innate desire to believe that the world is fair, and therefore, if something bad happens, you must’ve done something to deserve it. It’s why you see so many policies that hurt the poor/impoverished and most vulnerable, because this philosophy is hard at work. I think some politician literally said that good people don’t get sick, and it’s like wtf is wrong with you?
Oh don’t worry about it! I wasn’t taking it in an offended way at all 🙂
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UGH! That’s terrible. I really hope the kid recovers. 😥
Wow. I’d never heard about the “Just World” theory, but it makes total sense. Something tells me I may have heard of it, tangentially, but never had it explained outright. Like, you always hear (usually rich) people saying the poor just have to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps,” & that falls into that net, I think. Much pondering to do now; mostly of comebacks to ignorance, but I’m sure I’ll move past that soon enough. 😉
When I hear about people saying stuff like that (& also when I get cut off in traffic, but that’s not the point), I think, “I hope they get sick.” But, then I think that’s too harsh. So, I think, “I hope someone they know gets sick.” Nope, still too mean.
I usually settle on thinking, “I hope they step on a Lego.”
I’m glad I didn’t offend you! I don’t want to downplay anything that affects a person as an adult, since it obviously has deep meaning & significance. I’m sure it was awful too, being told your feelings are wrong. 😥
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Let me see if I can find the article I read about the Just World. It was so eye opening. It was something I’d heard of tangentially, too, but it put together so much of why we’re seeing what we’re seeing right now. Alright, I can’t find the one I read, but there’s a ton if you google. One of the best examples I just recently heard is Josef Mengele who did horrible experiments on people in concentrations camps in Nazi Germany. I’d heard of him before (I’ve written a few essays where I’ve done character comparisons to him), but I didn’t know what happened to him. He NEVER got his comeuppance and it’s enraging, but that’s a Just World thing. While of course it’s okay to want bad people punished, we have this idea that if something bad happens to you, you somehow deserved it. It’s so messed up.
No not at all! Don’t even worry about it 🙂
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Darn. I wish you were able to find the article you read. Still, I was able to find quite a few on my own. It does explain a lot of why the so-called “Christians” don’t support the poor or sick.
In fact, the article I read said that people who believed the “Just World Hypothesis” were more likely to be conservatives.
The whole idea is distressing as heck. Do these people actually believe that people get cancer (although the article I read said that people were less likely to feel the way about cancer) because they did something wrong?
It does explain, sort of, people’s attitudes towards rape & domestic violence victims (aside from the fact that women must have done something wrong). 😥
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I found it! I was looking through my saved Facebook posts and there it was.
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/10/the-psychology-of-victim-blaming/502661/
Yup, because they believe people deserve their lot through some reason or another. It’s pervasive, too, because whenever something bad happens to me, I think back on what I could’ve done to deserve it.
Ugh, I was in a horrible conversation today with this woman who did not understand that the legal system is not kind of victims of rape/assault. She kept saying if they have to go to the police. This was all because of an article my friend posted about this guy’s shop, but the guy had had numerous women accuse him of rape. One of her friends was pissed about the “court of public opinion,” and everyone else was livid that she was that obtuse.
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Ah! I’m so glad you were able to find it. It took me a minute to read it, of course, but it was worth it. I found the studies & experts’ input interesting.
I found it especially interesting that one of the suggestions they recommended, namely, saying, “Dan assaulted Jane” instead of “Jane was assaulted,” is a grammatical correction that teachers drilled into my head (then I set Microsoft Word to notify me of corrections)! If I remember correctly, using the “passive voice,” is the weaker choice because it doesn’t show the subject of the sentence, only what the unnamed subject does to the object. Then again, I’m a little rusty on sentence structure (mostly because we never did sentence dissection in my elementary classes like my Dad did once upon a time lol).
The part where they said that people’s empathy decreased when articles talked about the victims too much, but then went on to say how the Brock Turner case displayed too much of the perpetrator’s history (albeit, focusing on the positive aspects), it confused me. I mean, we need to talk about the perpetrator more, but we have to limit the positive qualities about him/her – well, how much is too much? Who should the journalists interview to get “dirt?” Wouldn’t most people who know the perpetrator, like the article stated, have positive ideas about the person/people? Does that seem prejudicial if there is going to be a trial?
I think your reaction (& mine too) to ask what you did wrong is proof of how engrained this sort of thinking has become. It’s like misogyny & racism. Plus, it’s easier to detach from others we only read about in the paper/online.
It’s easy to tell other people what to do in a difficult situation. Also, a lot of people who haven’t had any/much interaction with the police or the courts may see them as infallible beacons of right & wrong. Especially if they watch a lot of TV where the good guys catch the bad guys & it only takes an hour.
I commend you for your strength in dealing with that woman. Frankly, I think we should start using the court of public opinion because so few of these cases – even reported in a timely fashion & having some “evidence” – rarely see an actual court room. They’re difficult & expensive & the state doesn’t want to deal with them. For many, who doubt themselves & question what they could’ve done differently, too much time passes before they feel strong enough to try & tackle the barrage of bureaucracy b.s. to take it to the police. 😥
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Yessss, the passive voice makes the victim into the subject and puts the focus on her, so people will ask, “Well if Jane was assaulted, why didn’t Jane do something to stop the assault,” but in the inverse, you’re putting blame squarely where it’s due. I remember reading an article about how the language we speak shapes our perceptions of things, and in English (among others) blame is always assigned. The example they used had to do with a broken bed. In English if Bob broke the bed. You’d say “Bob broke the bed,” but other languages (and I forget which ones. Maybe Chinese?) you don’t do that. You’d just say “The bed is broken.” This shapes the way we look at the world, and kind of goes back to that Just World Fallacy. It’s fascinating and sad at the same time. Passive can be hard to avoid. I know I struggle sometimes with my writing, but most programs are good at catching instances of it. Like every other writing rule out there, there’s no hard and fast “Never use this!” but it’s usually not recommended to go overboard if you want to be effective.
Omg the court system/police subject of was so annoying. The conversation was about rape, too. The person who was female, too, insisted that if a victim doesn’t go to the police and just talks about the problem on a blog, then they must not be legit. She did not comprehend how corrupt and messed up our court system is, and many other women on the thread were like “I’m so glad I never opened up to you about my assault.” She wound up blocking me shrug
That’s the thing. People don’t want that court because they feel like people can be judged too harshly and too soon, so they want to “wait for all the facts,” and that usually means they’re waiting to hear the assaulter’s side of the story rolls eyes forever
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I know, right?! I didn’t even know about the passive voice until college & my first job! Now that I’ve had someone explain it to me, it makes a lot of sense. I just don’t know why I hadn’t heard of it before I did. I can understand why some people & cultures wouldn’t want to name the subject doing a specific action – it does put the “blame,” or responsibility, on to a specific person, event, etc.
What makes it so annoying for cases of sexual assault, I think, is the fact that it makes it sound like the assault just happened. Plus, the victim is often the only person mentioned, so it does make it seem like they were the only person who could have prevented it. That’s where I think “active voice” is super important.
But, like you said, it’s not a hard & fast rule.
UGH. That woman should have felt like absolute dirt. She’s one of many reasons so few women report; many probably hold the same opinions as her, only taking it further: “If you knew him, it wasn’t legit,” “If he was your husband, it wasn’t legit,” “If you didn’t fight back, it wasn’t legit,” “If you wanted to have sex, but changed your mind at any point, it wasn’t legit,” etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.
& people still claim not to understand why the reporting is so low & the need for commiseration on the Internet is so high. * sighs *
Funny, I thought that “waiting for all the facts” meant they wanted to wait until people calmed down, dropped the subject, & moved on. I suppose both are accurate. * helps you collect your wayward rolling eyeballs *
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Marital rape wasn’t even a crime until 1993. I was 13 years old. When people try to say that the horrible stuff of the past was long ago, they really just want to erase how things really are and/or not deal with the ramifications of them.
That’s exactly what “waiting for all the facts” means. They want to just brush it under the rug or wait for the “other side,” rolls eyes
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I think 1993 was the year when the last state made marital rape illegal, but all other states had already adjusted their laws to protect spouses. I couldn’t remember which state was the last to make rape between spouses illegal, so I looked it up.
What I found was SO DISTURBING!!!! Some states allow a spouse to drug their partner to have sex with them! Even in states where it’s illegal, like Indiana, Judges use their discretion to pull a “Brock Turner.” A jury found a guy guilty of 6 felony counts of sexual assault for drugging his wife, raping her, & video-taping it with his cell phone (she couldn’t prove he was doing it until she came across the video). The judge gave him 20 years – 12 years of home confinement & 8 years suspended sentence! When did the judge hand down this sentence? 20-freakin’-14! >.<
Other states still require a spouse use violence or threat of violence for him/her to be guilty of spousal rape. Even if the state has laws stating having sex with an unconscious person is rape, it doesn’t always apply to spouses! https://lawstreetmedia.com/issues/law-and-politics/marital-rape-u-s-laws/
Ugh. So much awfulness. 😥
Honestly, they say the same about slavery, but the ramifications – like with spousal rape, apparently – are everywhere. When people say stuff like, “Oh, that was so long ago,” it means they don’t want to feel guilty about it, don’t want to think about it, or they’re blissfully ignorant because it doesn’t affect them. I’m of the mindset that, if we feel guilty because we’re in a position of privilege that we don’t have to “deal with it,” suck it up.
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I wish I could pretend to be surprised about this, but with all the terrible shit happening I just can’t. The unconscious thing was going around for a while and I was just disgusted that it was even an argument. There are still people who believe you can’t commit rape if you’re married because that’s (of course) the wife’s responsibility. I almost got into it with my sister-in-law’s brother a few years ago. Getting married doesn’t mean you lose your bodily autonomy FFS 😡
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Ugggh. I know exactly what you mean. Too many people think that “wives have to give it up all the time, not just when they’re in the mood” & “husbands always want sex.”
Your sister-in-law’s brother needs a swift “five (fingers) across the eyes,” as my Dad likes to say. Is he married? G-d help the woman if he is married!!
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I think he’s married…I know he has kids. Oh, he has kids from before and he’s married, too. Yeah it’s really lucky we got interrupted. I was ready to go the ef off lol.
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Ugh. I wouldn’t have allowed an interruption. I would’ve gone off on that idiot. I have a sneaking suspicion if his wife heard him talking like that she would’ve given him a piece of her mind too!
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Pingback: Tag #42: The Rainbow Book Tag – Hot Shot Headlines
That was interesting. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks for checking it out & leaving me a comment. 🙂
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Hello dear fellow Samantha Bee fan(s)!
A-hem!
Great post! I love that show or any that make one think while laughing. She’s smart, hilarious, and the subject matter is usually great. I just wish that the show was on a better channel at a better time. Oh well, that’s what the tubes of you are for, right? Anyway, great site you have you here, what with me being brand new to reading it and all. (;))
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Welcome, Mr. Tragic Life, to the Wild West of WordPress! I do hope you’ll find a friendly & thought-provoking forum here. Personally, I find the DVR useful for the watching of such shows. I do find Ms. Bee to be hilarious. Her special on Puerto Rico was heart-breaking & helped to remind us all that they still need our help!
Glad to have you as a brand new reader. May your days be full of laughter during dark times. 🙂
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Thank you for the warm welcome! Um..DVR’s are cool if you actually remember to use them. That’s not really my forte. Alas, I just wanted to say “alas”.
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“Alas” is a great word. I’m (seriously, finally, OMG) a few pages from having read The Complete Works of Shakespeare. That man loved his “alas.” & possibly “alad” or two. 😉
My DVR is cool because it has all these settings where I can tell it, “Hey, record only the new episodes of Samantha Bee.” Then, it does! Technology is amazing. When it works, I mean. 🙂
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We’re about to ditch cable, I hate it. Might do that Sling thing. The only thing I have consistently been watching is Westworld. I haven’t even turned on any John Oliver in a while. I feel so ill-informed and comedically deficient.
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I don’t blame you from not watching too many talk shows at the moment, despite their comedic value. They’re still relaying sad news while making us laugh.
Seriously though, you need to catch up on John Oliver. The man is hilarious. 😉
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