Admit it – we all have them. When we’re kids, we seem to vocalize every random question. I don’t know at what age we stop sharing them with other people. I’m pretty sure we stop so that no one slaps us silly. But, we all still have these random thoughts from time to time. I… Continue reading Random Question – Post #1
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5 things to do to be compassionate with yourself in emotional crisis.
This is very helpful, in my opinion. Then again, it’s easy to say when one isn’t in emotional distress.
The last post talked about why it can be useful to directly address your distress rather than avoiding it or trying to fix the thing that brings the distress up. I think there are a lot of good reasons, but the most important one for me is that it is just not very effective to try to solve problems when very distressed. It is also very exhausting to be constantly avoiding your emotions, so allowing yourself to acknowledge the distress, and find ways to manage it is really important. Here are my top 5 techniques:
1. Take a break
There are a lot of ways to manage your distress, but the most important starting point is likely to be taking a break of at least 15 minutes – whether that is from a conflict, an interpersonal dispute, a tricky situation or some ruminating that is upsetting you. Just allowing yourself…
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Commentary #100: “What Mum Taught Me” – Boundaries
This is so on-point. I’m glad that Laura posted this now – it really applies to a situation I’m grappling with at the moment.
This post originated from a friend’s Facebook post. I found it on Thursday, October 24, 2019. A. saw it and felt compelled to share.
It was originally shared on Facebook by Leslie Gaar, Writer on October 10, 2018.
The photos / screenshots come from Erynn Brook’s Twitter account. I encourage everyone to read it in its entirety.
I read Erynn’s story. And re-read it. And I’ve been coming back to it nearly every day since stumbling upon it on October 24th.
One thing is for sure: Boundaries are hard. Setting boundaries is even harder. But, at 31, I feel much more at peace with myself because of the boundaries I have set for myself. Many of them are unspoken, for me and myself only, but there are others that I make known, loud and clear.
Why? Unlike Erynn’s awesome mom, I was taught to stick…
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There had better be justice…
It’s unbelievable to think that a cop can actually open fire without taking any time to check a situation out, then get placed on ‘admin leave’, having killed a person for… being inside their own fucking home?!
This is racism at work. Systematic, embedded racism. It runs deep into the core of various elements of society, all over the world, but somehow, it runs very deep in a number of pockets of US society (and please, my American friends, this is not aimed at you, for I know many Americans are as ashamed of this as I am). This should be a clear cut case of murder, for that’s what it is. Hysteria because ‘black person’ has led to an innocent woman being shot dead in her own home. There should be outrage about this at a national level. This is 2019. There is zero room for this…
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Three exercises for noticing small emotions
If nothing else, I find this subject interesting & I’m re-blogging to keep it available to me in the future.
If it helps any of you all, I will take all the credit for sharing it, of course. 😉 (Many kudos to the real hero in that scenario – the author, for some great tips.)
Historically, I wasn’t very good at noticing emotions when they are small. In fact, for the longest time I really only noticed emotions when they became too overwhelming to ignore. This was not an effective strategy. It led to really painful interpersonal conflict and meant I spent a lot of time running away from emotional experiences. These days I’m much more able to identify and name emotions when they are low-level, which helps me to identify my needs and desires and to communicate these more effectively. Much of the credit for this goes to the work I have done in being mindful of my emotions. Here are three exercises that I’ve found helpful:
1. Noticing emotional neutrality
Throughout the day you will most likely have moments when you don’t think that you’re feeling much of anything. These moments are perfect for pausing to notice whether anything more complicated is going…
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#WhyIDidn’tReport: Rapture Nightclub Doesn’t Care If Your Drink Is Spiked
Imagine realising your drink has been spiked.
Imagine thinking that messaging the nightclub where it happened out of concern for yourself and other patrons.
Now, imagine you’re a dick who lacks empathy.
You get Rapture Nightclub’s response.
Imagine you’re asked if you’re even WORTH being drugged.
Imagine that this comes after eight women were murdered by the hands of their partners last month.
Imagine all the fuckheads and cunts of the world screaming there’s no such thing as rape culture and it’s all just a feminist conspiracy.
And then, before you decide something, read the response from a Perth nightclub to a young girl.
Imagine if that was you.
Imagine, because you need women to relate to you for some of you to care, it was your little sister.
Your girlfriend.
Your wife.
Your big sister.
Your cousin.
Your friend.
Your daughter.
Imagine it’s you.
In Emergencies: 000
Lifeline Australia:…
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An on-point message
I really thought this argument was gonna go way differently when I read the first couple of sentences. Please read it all – it’s true.
Also, if men want to be involved in decision-making around abortion, & they want to keep a pregnancy while the woman doesn’t, they’re welcome to carry the child themselves.
Until then, anything anyone – male or female – says to a pregnant woman is an opinion. The ultimate decision lies with her. Suck it up. 😊
Greta scares Grown men
Greta Thunberg. Remember her name. This 16 year-old has done more for the cause of combating climate change in the space of a month than world leaders and big businesses combined. In the process, she’s come under fire from bitter, angry old white dudes, who are threatened by her strength and conviction. She’s had a lot of criticism, but her statement (see the above link) is ample proof that she will not be bullied.
We’re at a tipping point, facing a very real climate crisis, something the vast majority of the world’s scientists agree is happening, and yet, rather than face these problems, people like Piers Morgan and Donald Trump, among others, show their sexism (not to mention a huge misunderstanding of mental illness) via their comments on Twitter and beyond. Despite some high profile attacks, Greta has not been unnerved; she forges on, with a cause we should…
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Taking your emotional temperature
I love this idea – simply recognizing you’re having feelings can make them feel less intense. I’m definitely going to try this out!
So, I’ve been spending more and more time feeling into my emotions, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the way I was taught to understand emotions as a younger person was dangerously wrong. You see, I was taught that emotions could be understood on a scale from sad to happy (and that you should really always try to be happy). It looked something like this:
I’m guessing you can already see some problems with this approach. My life is rarely binary, and my emotions are certainly not. I do not operate on a happy to sad scale. This approach didn’t give me a way to communicate or express other feelings, such as guilt, fear, overwhelm, anger or disgust. It also didn’t give me an easy way to communicate complex feelings, where I was having more than one emotion at a time.
Despite the happy to sad scale not working…
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