#StopBlamingWomenMakeMenTheProblem: Natalina Angok

“Her name is Natalina Angok.” She’s not the “Chinatown” victim.

Things Carla Loves

— Trigger Warning —

Last year, I read an article by Jane Gilmore, discussing that there was no national outrage or outcry, and little had been said in the media, about the fact that just the other week in Australia, six women were murdered in five days.


Six women were murdered in five days.

As nothing has changed, I’m continuing with this same theme in 2019, and women murdered at the result of male violence will be featured on every Thursday post, as well as an entry from The Ex Files.

I would also like to take this opportunity to note that during this time, White Ribbon has decided that it wants to be “agnostic” when it comes to women seeking safe and legal abortions. They recently, and very publicly, admitted that they were putting money before the lives of women. White Ribbon has always…

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#ButDon’tYouWantToGetBetter: Your Contempt Makes It Harder To Want To Get Better

Here’s a tip: Trying to make people feel guilty for a behavior you deem “bad” doesn’t help anyone.

Shaming people won’t change their behavior. It’ll just make them hate themselves more. That will make other “bad” behaviors arise. It’s almost guaranteed.

Things Carla Loves

I’ve written more times than I can count about how depression is an all-consuming black hole that does nothing but tear, rip and eat, indifferent to the prey it devours.

My PTSD symptoms make me want to avoid places and people that pose triggers – and I don’t even know all of my triggers yet. Honestly.

For example, I watched Mommy Dead and Dearest as a documentary on HBO, and I was thoroughly horrified, though I thought it was a good documentary. I was just mostly shocked at what Gypsy Rose went through, and utterly bewildered at how her mother, Dee Dee, had convinced medical doctors her daughter was sick and needed surgeries they knew she didn’t need.

Like, fuck, I don’t even understand how that’s possible. I really wish I did, considering I’ve almost died because of doctors not listening to me, but I don’t get it.

But watching…

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BOOK REVIEW: How They Said It: Wise and Witty Letters From the Famous and Infamous by Rosalie Maggio

How They Said It: Wise and Witty Letters From the Famous and Infamous is another book taken – or, “rescued,” if you prefer – from my Dad’s bookshelf.  Since I returned it to him after I was done, “borrowed” is probably the best word choice. I was soooo happy there weren’t any highlights in this… Continue reading BOOK REVIEW: How They Said It: Wise and Witty Letters From the Famous and Infamous by Rosalie Maggio

So, You Want To Be A Writer: Tips, Tricks & Ideas Vol #12

I’ll be honest, I’ve never written a full-length novel. When I did try (before I realized the plot was terrible), I tried to make character charts.

There are examples online, but it can seem daunting. It’s worth a shot!

Things Carla Loves


A little while ago, I wrote how my favourite English teacher, Mr Yates, from when I was in high school (so long ago now!) encouraged me to consider handwriting more, to create a more personal connection with my work.

He also gave me another important tip – one I have never overlooked, and one that is put in place for every novel I’ve ever written since (whether it’s become something or not is a different story), including You Know You Want It, as well as my two up-coming novels (I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately, hence the break. I told you I was a busy little birdie!).

He told me that one of the most important things about writing was knowing everything you could about your characters, that the more you, as the author, knew them, the more you would have control – and the easier your…

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Shut Up & Hold My Fucking Margarita (Answering Questions You Wished No One Had Asked): No, Sanitary Items Aren’t A Luxury, and No, Women Can’t Control Their Periods You Fuckwit

Sigh. OK, this makes my brain hurt. But, it’s too true, unfortunately.

Feminine hygiene products are not a luxury. They should not have “luxury tax” applied to them. They are necessary products – more than a razor or perfume.

If you do not understand the physical biology of people with vaginas, please educate yourself.

If you think you know the biology of people with vaginas, double-check.

If you think people with vaginas only have two holes “down there,” please go back to whomever educated you & slap them in the face. Preferably with a diagram of “down there.”

Things Carla Loves

Okay, so people post some stuff that I just want to scream, ‘What the fuck are you fucking thinking, you fucking dickhead?’ 

So I’ve decided to create “Shut Up and Hold My Fucking Margarita” questions to abolish some ignorant-as-fuck myths that people seem to earnestly believe because they’ve obviously never heard of Google before, let alone fucking Snopes.

If you see something that makes you think, ‘What the fuck are you fucking thinking, you fucking dickhead?’, please post it below and let me know, so I can tag you/your blog with the recommendation! 


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So You Want To Be A Writer: Tips, Tricks & Ideas Vol #11

Things Carla Loves

tip 11

This one’s so simple, so easy, but it’s something that we tend to overlook.

Read books, magazines, graphic novels.

Read novels you wouldn’t normally like.


Because you need to see what you don’t like, and why.

Read novels that are cheap, easy, “popcorn”. They’re easy, but still immersive. Just because a book’s popcorn doesn’t mean the popcorn’s bad. Everyone gets popcorn when they go to the cinemas, so what are you waiting for?

Read novels that are a little more advanced than you’d normally read. Seriously. Even if it’s just one, or you decide to pick something that’s considered a ‘classic’ like Moby Dick, because you’ll learn something.

Even if it’s that you still have no idea why the captain was soooo obsessed with a fucking fish, and you’re hoping there’s something magical about a book everyone talks about.

But most importantly, read the books/graphic novels that you love.

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Audrie, Daisy & Rape Culture

Things Carla Loves

Audrie & Daisy is an amazing Netflix documentary that follows, in particular, two teenagers who were sexually assaulted and raped (among other brave young women who also shared their stories).

If you haven’t watched the documentary, you need to do so immediately.

It’s similar to The Hunting Ground, and perhaps even more moving.

Unfortunately, Audrie’s story is presented via third person (mainly her parents), because she committed suicide soon after she was raped.

She was raped whilst unconscious, and the boys responsible took photos and shared them everywhere.

Audrie, like with most sexual assault and rape cases, was blamed.

She was the slut who should have known better.

It was too much for her; and she chose to end her life as a result.

However, whilst Daisy also attempted to take her life, she was unsuccessful and therefore able to share her story.

Daisy tells the story of her…

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May: Mental Health Awareness Month

We need to talk about mental health openly & candidly (for those of us who feel comfortable & able, of course). Not just once a year during Mental Health Month.

But, Mental Health Month (May!) is a good place to start.

Getting Through Anxiety

May is Mental Health Awareness month. While I admit I didn’t find out until I saw it on Instagram, I still consider it an extremely important topic.

As many of you know, I struggle with anxiety. I’m happy to inform you that through practicing on a consistent basis, I’ve made a lot of progress. However, I still struggle with a lot of things and there is still a lot of improvement to be made.

There are a few things in particular that I’d like to talk about today. First and foremost, never give up on yourself. I know how easy it is to wonder if you’ll ever get through your anxiety and other issues. Trust me: with hard work on a consistent basis, you will. It may take a while, but you’ll get there.

Another thing I want to talk about is how it seems that many people are under…

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