Discussion: Periods

Rae at Bookmark Chronicles was brave enough to discuss her first menstruation in her post. We really do need to discuss female anatomy & biological functions without shame, code words, or covering the ears of impressionable youth.

So, to put my money where my mouth is, I’m going to share the story of my first period. I’m not talking about school, either.

I got my period when I was around 13. This was a year after my mother died, & around the time of my Bat Mitzvah. Mom knew she was dying & she was a biology teacher, so she gave me a quick run-down of what was going to start happening soon. Honestly, I wish my parents had felt comfortable enough discussing this topic with me from a younger age, giving me some time to prepare.

Heck, they bought me a book, obviously geared towards kids, explaining where babies come from that I had from before I can remember. It would seem that a similar book on menstruation would be a no-brainer.

If that book doesn’t exist yet, it needs to. Someone write it.

I’ve been incredibly fortunate in that I didn’t have excruciating cramps, headaches, or other issues before, during, or after my period. I’ve been on hormonal birth control since I was around 17, not because I was always sexually active, but because it’s helpful as heck to know when my period’s coming. Underwear is expensive, people.

Seriously people – if you’ve talked about your flatulence, or your bowel movements without batting an eye, you can do the same with menstruation, even if it doesn’t affect you personally. That brings me to the next point I think is important: people of both genders (but, yeah, I’ll say mostly men) need to be more familiar with female anatomy. The number of people who think women urinate out of their vagina, or can hold in menstrual blood like holding in urine, is astounding. 🙄

bookmarkchronicles

If you cringed or made a face while reading the title then you need to stick around until the end because you need to hear this more than anyone.

Let’s get to it.

Lady time, Aunt Flow, mensies, your special visitor, that “Time of the Month” whatever you call it, today we’re going to talk about it.

Men – yeah I’m coming for you first. If you are a straight man who is sexually active then you have no right to say that you are “grossed out” by periods. I’ll be blunt: if a vagina isn’t “gross” to you when you’re sticking your dick in it, then it’s not any other time either. Seriously, grow up.

This especially applies if you have children. If you’ve got boys, then you need to raise them so they understand periods not be afraid of them, so that they don’t become one of those…

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#WhyIDidn’tReport: #MenToo

#MenToo had the power to speak up about male victims, but, instead, it’s being co-opted by people more afraid of statistically insignificant false rape charges. One has, like, a 2% chance of happening, the other has, like, 20% chance of happening – which do you think is a more pressing issue?? 😠

Things Carla Loves

— Trigger and Content Warning —

Like with the “Friendship Breakup” series, over the next few weeks, I’ll be answering commonly asked questions surrounding, specifically, Dr Ford and the entire fiasco that we just watched. 

As this topic is of a sensitive nature, and many of you may have questions or stories you’d like to share or have answered, please feel free to drop a message in my Facebook inbox or DM me on my Instagram, @thingscarlaloves. You do not have to share your story in the comment section (or anywhere else) if you do not feel comfortable. 

As always, there will be a list of helpline services added, if you need help. I strongly urge that you confide in someone you trust in order to help you heal. 

Recently, Sunrise – a national disaster of a morning show in Australia – had Bettina Arndt on…

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‘I Really Hope a Lot of Men Read It’: Sohaila Abdulali on How We Talk About Rape

Longreads

Laura Barcella | Longreads | November 2018 | 12 minutes (3,191 words)

In a 2015 documentary called “India’s Daughter,” one of Jyoti Singh Pandey’s rapists, Mukesh Singh, gave a disturbing jail-cell interview in which he placed the blame for his crime squarely on his dead victim. “A decent girl won’t roam around at 9 o’clock at night. A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy,” he said.

Singh’s quote is despicable, but it neatly summarizes many of the internalized myths that women all over the world walk around with each day: that women have a say in whether we end up brutalized. That we can twist our own fate by making simple choices like staying home at night, or not wearing skirts, or abstaining from drinking. It helps rapists rationalize their actions, and it makes women feel like we retain a semblance of control over what happens…

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When Intentions Hurt

Truth!!

Angry Feminist

Imagine for a moment that you are going to a coffee shop with a friend to grab a lovely caffeinated beverage to indulge in for the day. You don’t know me, but as you are walking in, I am walking out, and I end up spilling my beverage all over you.

Understandably, you are a bit shocked, and a bit upset.

As you stand there with your now wet, and most likely stained shirt, you use a few choice words to communicate your emotions. Perhaps something like an emotionally charged, “Excuse me?!

And my response? “Oh! I didn’t mean to bump into you! That was never my intent! I was just trying to leave the coffee shop!

You are still upset, you demand an apology. But I refuse. After all, it was not my intent to spill my drink on you. In fact, my day is…

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BOOK REVIEW: Shakespeare: An Oxford Guide Edited by Stanley Wells & Lena Cowen Orlin

I should've read this before I read The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.  This book is where I got everything I know about William Shakespeare, the time in which he lived, & facts about the plays that I included in my recent reviews. As I said, all my (beautiful, fancy-pants) copy of Shakespeare’s works had… Continue reading BOOK REVIEW: Shakespeare: An Oxford Guide Edited by Stanley Wells & Lena Cowen Orlin

#WhyIDidn’tReport: The McDonald’s Incident

Also, if you see a woman who looks uncomfortable, trying to see if she’s OK & give her an escape route is a good idea. I understand this can be an uneasy situation – you don’t know if someone is in trouble until you ask, & you could feel embarrassed by misreading the situation – but the benefits to that person if you’re correct far outweigh your momentary “oops.”

Things Carla Loves

— Trigger and Content Warning —

Like with the “Friendship Breakup” series, over the next few weeks, I’ll be answering commonly asked questions surrounding, specifically, Dr Ford and the entire fiasco that we just watched. 

As this topic is of a sensitive nature, and many of you may have questions or stories you’d like to share or have answered, please feel free to drop a message in my Facebook inbox or DM me on my Instagram, @thingscarlaloves. You do not have to share your story in the comment section (or anywhere else) if you do not feel comfortable. 

As always, there will be a list of helpline services added, if you need help. I strongly urge that you confide in someone you trust in order to help you heal. 

Image result for why i didn't report tweetsPC: Linda Ikeji

Shortly before I would break up with my abusive ex, I was out with…

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Discussion: A Spark of Light & Women’s Reproductive Rights

Some brilliant thoughts & great questions posed to those who claim to be “pro-life” & not “anti-abortion.”

bookmarkchronicles

Let me start by saying that I fully expect that the opinions left on this article will differ. Differ from my own and from some of my friends. That is okay and I encourage it. This is a place to respectfully state your opinion and tell why you believe what you believe. If I see anyone making inappropriate remarks, dishing out personal attacks and acting like a child I will block you. You’ve been warned.


One of the many reasons that I love Jodi Picoult is because she tackles topics that many people try to avoid talking about even though they are unavoidable. I always learn something from her and am always able to use her writing to spark a conversation. I also really respect the amount of research that she does for her books because it proves that authors really can cover any topic properly. Today I will…

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The Ugliest Bully

😭 😭 😭 ❤️

The Heart Of The Matter

My faith in the human race wavered today for a moment.  On a social media news-site a thread dedicated to a grieving mom was desecrated by the most judgemental adults I have ever in all my days had the misfortune to encounter.  I got as far as ten comments into the thousands before I slammed the top down on my laptop and cried. I wanted to say something but my words would be lost in a mountain of cruelty.

I don’t cry. I work around death daily, around pain and around the misfortunes of life and have learned not to cry.

I pulled myself together in the hope that my words will strike home today.

She choked on her words today.  A mom grieving her nine year old boy. I sat and watched her as well I could with tears pooling in my lower lids. She spoke of how she…

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#StopBlamingWomenMakeMenTheIssue:Kristie Powell

Someone murdered Kristie Powell in front of her 5-month-old son. Probably the same person who harassed her constantly via the Internet & messaging, which the police did nothing to stop.

We need to change our laws to protect people – of all genders – from harassment & worse.

If you can, please share the fund for Kristie’s son: https://www.gofundme.com/baby-powell-benefit?fbclid=IwAR0uJ79RfmE8L7RTDZBVwztbISHsb1a8IfoWQ2Y1Di27Dv2H-fkJMwnaRxo

Things Carla Loves

— Trigger Warning —

The other day, I read an article by Jane Gilmore, discussing that there was no national outrage or outcry, and little had been said in the media, about the fact that just the other week in Australia, six women were murdered in five days.

Yes.

Six women were murdered in five days.

As a result, I am working toward and planning to dedicate several Raising Awareness slots to the women who have sadly lost their lives in 2018, in Australia, to domestic violence. Hopefully, if we are reminded each week of their faces, their names, their lives, we will get over our compassion fatigue and start to give a damn about violence against women.

I would also like to take this opportunity to note that during this time, White Ribbon has decided that it wants to be “agnostic” when it comes to…

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