Random Questions – Post #5

If you’re new to our “weird/random/oversharing” corner of the Internet, or, if you need a refresher, check out Random Questions – Post #1.  For the veterans, welcome home.  Make yourself comfortable!  Random Question #5 Who are you?  How do you define yourself?  Are you who you’re related to?  Your career?  Your interests?  Your quirks?  So… … Continue reading Random Questions – Post #5

Loki: The Life & Trials Of One Black Cat – The Tough Times

As I said in the intro to this rambling parade of cat pictures, Loki lived up to his Norse namesake.  From a tiny kitten, to a brat teen, Loki charmed everyone he met.  Even my Dad, the die-hard dog fan. It was during the last four years of his life - the Tough Times - … Continue reading Loki: The Life & Trials Of One Black Cat – The Tough Times

3 reasons to pay attention to social comedowns in a pandemic changed world

This is so true. Having fibromyalgia, I already had some issues after social events (no matter how awesome they were). Talking about it is the first step – It’s more common than you’d think!

Love Uncommon

Many people experience a social hangover or comedown after spending time with friends. Some people know it as con-drop. Others just recognise that social interactions have the cost of a night of rumination and worry or a morning of scattered brain. These experiences are not widely discussed, which means that folks can feel really ashamed when they have a hard time after an otherwise pleasurable social event. I think this is a great moment to start talking more about social hangovers and come downs because they are very likely to get more common as more places come out of lock down and people start to socialise more. The shift from relatively few social interactions to a great deal more social contact, and particularly contact with larger groups of people, is likely to cause increases in social anxiety, higher levels of adrenaline and cortisol in our blood as we have social…

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Loki: The Life & Trials Of One Black Cat – Middle Ground

Welcome back, dedicated readers and silent lurkers just here for the cat pictures!  This is the second post re-telling the life of my cat, Loki.  For those of you who wandered over here, and have no idea what I’m talking about – here’s where I felt it necessary to explain the premise, and here’s the … Continue reading Loki: The Life & Trials Of One Black Cat – Middle Ground

Loki: The Life & Trials Of One Black Cat – Early Years

Loki was born around the first week in July in 2010.  When the vet gave that estimate at his first check-up, I picked July 4th for his unofficial birthday.  Because it was easy to remember.  I had wanted a cat of my own for a while.  When my ex-husband/boyfriend-at-the-time (long story – don’t drink around … Continue reading Loki: The Life & Trials Of One Black Cat – Early Years

Loki: The Life & Trials Of One Black Cat – Introduction

So, after sorting through almost 1,300 pictures and videos of Loki, I chucked all 12 pages of my original rough draft for this post.  Maybe the images made me realize the post sucked.  Maybe it just raised different feelings and memories. I choose to believe the latter. 😆 As I said in my recent post, … Continue reading Loki: The Life & Trials Of One Black Cat – Introduction

5 things to do to be compassionate with yourself in emotional crisis. 

This is very helpful, in my opinion. Then again, it’s easy to say when one isn’t in emotional distress.

Love Uncommon

The last post talked about why it can be useful to directly address your distress rather than avoiding it or trying to fix the thing that brings the distress up. I think there are a lot of good reasons, but the most important one for me is that it is just not very effective to try to solve problems when very distressed. It is also very exhausting to be constantly avoiding your emotions, so allowing yourself to acknowledge the distress, and find ways to manage it is really important. Here are my top 5 techniques:

1. Take a break

There are a lot of ways to manage your distress, but the most important starting point is likely to be taking a break of at least 15 minutes  – whether that is from a conflict, an interpersonal dispute, a tricky situation or some ruminating that is upsetting you. Just allowing yourself…

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Three exercises for noticing small emotions

If nothing else, I find this subject interesting & I’m re-blogging to keep it available to me in the future.

If it helps any of you all, I will take all the credit for sharing it, of course. 😉 (Many kudos to the real hero in that scenario – the author, for some great tips.)

Love Uncommon

Historically, I wasn’t very good at noticing emotions when they are small. In fact, for the longest time I really only noticed emotions when they became too overwhelming to ignore. This was not an effective strategy. It led to really painful interpersonal conflict and meant I spent a lot of time running away from emotional experiences. These days I’m much more able to identify and name emotions when they are low-level, which helps me to identify my needs and desires and to communicate these more effectively. Much of the credit for this goes to the work I have done in being mindful of my emotions. Here are three exercises that I’ve found helpful:

1. Noticing emotional neutrality

Throughout the day you will most likely have moments when you don’t think that you’re feeling much of anything. These moments are perfect for pausing to notice whether anything more complicated is going…

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Taking your emotional temperature

I love this idea – simply recognizing you’re having feelings can make them feel less intense. I’m definitely going to try this out!

Love Uncommon

So, I’ve been spending more and more time feeling into my emotions, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the way I was taught to understand emotions as a younger person was dangerously wrong. You see, I was taught that emotions could be understood on a scale from sad to happy (and that you should really always try to be happy). It looked something like this:

happysadI’m guessing you can already see some problems with this approach. My life is rarely binary, and my emotions are certainly not. I do not operate on a happy to sad scale. This approach didn’t give me a way to communicate or express other feelings, such as guilt, fear, overwhelm, anger or disgust. It also didn’t give me an easy way to communicate complex feelings, where I was having more than one emotion at a time. 

Despite the happy to sad scale not working…

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